Early in February 1981 the first conference in Australia to have the word 'semiotics' in its (sub)title was held in the grounds of the University of Sydney. This event should not be taken as "progress," the "arrival" of semiotics in Australia, or the arrival of Australia on the semiotics map; for it is none of these. Just how to take it is the question to which we shall address ourselves: it is our opinion that the conference title, "Foreign Bodies: Semiotics in/and Australia," is, in a number of ways, symptomatic of 'semiotics in Australia." It is emphatically not representative of work being done as semiotics in Australia, of which there is precious little. We shall use it to pivot part of our discussion.